Life.

Born into a bad neighborhood? Good luck because once you are born, you’re born into a cycle that the government places on you. Have fun making it out of the projects or the hood and the ghetto. Ive first hand seen what living that life does to you. I have friends trying to make it out but the only opportunities they are given are selling drugs or gangbanging. Even my father. Started smoking at age fifteen, and is still continuing. It’s different if you are born in Plainfield or Romeoville. You are treated with respect from the begging. No mistreatment. No issue. No discrimination. You are shown pride when you say you are from a fairly wealthy neighborhood. If you switch the roles and say you from Pilsen, Little Village, or Cicero you are automatically judged and treated differently. Again, I have seen this first hand. I’m not claiming I am coming from one of these neighborhoods, I have family that does. My Tia Jacky, her two kids, in the middle of a drive by. Then my Tia Lisi. Telling her younger sister Mindy that something is wrong with her so Lisi can take the medication. Lisi’s daughter, Thali. Fourteen drinking, parties, smoking. My mother. Pregnant by twenty-one by a Cicero  gangbanger. She never got to finish school and all she wanted it better for me. This is where the cycle begins again. I’m starting to fail her, smoking, drinking, staying out late, bad grades, disrespecting my body. Everything that I’ve done has had a negative impact on her. I’ve taken so many years, so many smiles, so much time off of her life.

When I Was Greatest

When I Was Greatest. A teen fiction book by Jason Reynolds, is about Allen “Ali” Brooks who resides in Brooklyn, New York and shows the representation of being a brother to someone. As months quickly turn into years, Roland “Noodles” James then later in the book meets Needles  which are brothers. The three get close quickly even though Ali doesn’t know much about Noodles past or family, they understand each other. The “three bind mice”  go to a party and things very quickly escalate from there. Conflict between the once a upon a time brothers Ali and Noodles begins. An interesting part of this book is when Ali’s father starts becoming more interactive with Ali’s mother Doris and sister Jaz. Read this book to find out how far a teenager Ali will go to take care of the brothers Noodles and Needles.

The Perfect Relationship.

The perfect relationship. Not a relationship between me and a partner, but between me and a parent. The perfect relationship between my mother and I. The perfect relationship between my mother and I would be the total opposite of the relationship we have at the moment. The perfect relationship between us would be communication; being able to talk to each other back and forth with understanding and peace. Understand; being respectful with each of our mistakes and issues. Not having to worry about going home. Not having to worry about being the messenger between her and my father. For her to be happy. For me not to disappoint her over, over, and over again like I have done multiple times. For her to understand that I love her no matter where I end up or what mistakes I’ve made. To not blame herself for the things I have done/will do.

Special Item

One very special item to me is four different pictures. The first is of me and my Tio Danny, after he passed I couldn’t find any pictures of me and him but eventually I did find three pictures in total. I’m only choosing one picture because we both were so happy in that picture and it makes me to never forget his amazing personality. The second picture is of me and my mother, I chose this picture because my mother is a single mother of two and I put her through hell. I have done many things to hurt her when I don’t mean to at all. The picture I chose with me and her is when me and her were in Colorado on a boat. This picture reminds me of my innocence and how close me and my mother were at a point in time and I should strive to be like that with her again. The third picture I picked is a picture of my little sister Gianna and again, my Tio Danny. This picture reminds me to strive for him and her. To make them both proud by being successful and where I should be in life, making decisions to better myself. Finally, the fourth picture is of me and my Tia Sammy. She has been there for me through almost everything. She is one of the most important female figures in my life. She is in college now and living a healthy life from what she tells me. We are more sisters then tia and niece.

My Favorite Quotes

There are only two people that all these quotes come from , Jermaine Lamar Cole and Rupi Kaur. Jermaine (J. Cole) has always been an inspirational person for me. He shows me that no matter how much money you have, how big your house is, how many cars you have, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have your family or people that love you, push you to your best capabilities, and care for who you are and what you do with your life. Rupi Kaur is a poet that has written many poems that have reached me on a very personal level. In her book Milk and Honey, she talks about three different things you could say. The hurting. The breaking. And finally, the healing. To me all of her poems gives you a lesson about loving yourself and what/who you have in your life. Also, to be grateful for the things that have happen to you even if it was a negative impact because it shapes who you are as a person. The first quote from Rupi Kaur is in he Milk and Honey. “Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke you.” This quote means a lot to me because I have lost many friends over major things they did to me but I still went running back to them and gave them my forgiveness in a heartbeat. Another quote I really love by Rupi is “how you love yourself is how you teach others to love you”. My favorite quote of all time comes out of a song by J. Cole, and it’s called Love Yourz. In the song he talks about how he went from broke to being wealthy, also how much money, fame, etc. you have doesn’t matter if you don’t have family who loves you and pushes you to the best you. 

Piecing Me Together

Piecing Me Together is a book by Rennée Watson, is about a young women named Jade and how the color of her skin and the place she lives, effects her in and out of school. Throughout the year she joins a program called Women to Women which makes a very large impact on her life. Also throughout the book she bumps into conflict with many things like her art, friendships, and one more thing is that she is how she is a minority at her school. I really enjoyed reading this book because in a way it makes you think about your life and how you are living it “correctly” and how you should enjoy the things you have no matter what.

First Quarter Reflection

The first quarter has honestly not been the best. I know I could do way better then what I have been doing. I have almost the same grades in all my classes, and they’re bad. I don’t put much effort into more then half of my classes. I wish I could change the decisions I made within the first quarter. This quarter I am going to put all of my effort into my work so I can bring up my grades. One thing I lack is putting my effort into my work and completing them with good quality. I understand everything that happens within my classes but I just don’t finish my work/assignments/etc. I have joined a after school group called Me to We and the only other thing I’m waiting for volleyball to start because that is the only other team I really enjoy playing on.

Book to Movie Comparison: The Outsiders

Some of the similarities between The Outsiders book and movie is that they both did stay true to how the characters looks, personality, actions. An example is how the characters were alike to how they were described within the book. Another similarities are how the movie still had many of the minor details that were also in the book. An Example is how when Darry starts picking on Cherry and her friend. They stayed true to how Cherry reacted to Dally then how Johnny and Ponyboy started reacting to the girls and Dally.

Some ways that there are differences is how the characters didn’t exactly reach my expectations as an acting point. They didn’t seem to have much emotion and yes even though they did stay true to their look and most of the time, their reactions, I believe they didn’t put enough detail into the story. I understand that a majority of movies made have a time limit but I also believe that they added unnecessary details to parts that weren’t major. An example is when Darry slapped Ponyboy for coming home late and caused him to run away. In the book there was so much detail about how much it had hurt Soda but in the movie, it wasn’t the same. Another example is how in the beginning of the book, Ponyboy gets jumped by who find out later is Bob.

In my personal opinion, I understand the time that the movie was made there wasn’t perfect camera quality, sound, etc. but the least the directors was make the actors fit their role by adding more facial expressions, and little details like that that would’ve emphasized the major things within the story. Along with my examples with the differences how Darry had hit Ponyboy. I just believe that there wasn’t enough time put on that part of the movie.

My Identity

I am not only Mexican but I am Brazilian. I am female. I am young but mature. I am Giselle. Those things are only from my physical appearance. There is more to who I am then the eye sees. I am catholic. I am loud. I am kind but most of all, I am independent. My race has almost always made me a minority. Me being female has changed my identity and who I am because many people don't believe that I couldn't do things my male friends could. I am a daughter, sister, and niece. I fail the most at being a daughter but I am bettering myself every minute I am awake. I am more then what people see. I can smile and laugh at my worst moments. I can shed tears and still walk out the house happy. I am strong. I am selfish to a certain extent. I am Giselle. People who made me who I am today is my mother and sister. My friends who were never my friends. The people who doubted and talked bad on my name. They are the reason I strive better and better everyday about who I am.

10 Years From Now

In ten years I can see myself going to college to become either an anesthesiologist or a social worker. One place where I see myself living is either in the dorms or a studio apartment by myself. I would like to go to college either out of state or a couple of hours away from home. Over the weekends I believe that I would be either working at one of three jobs I would like. Forever 21 , Walgreesns , or Michael Kors. One thing I would like to have is either a Beta fish named "Fish" or a cat named Honey. Over the summer I will visit my family and spend as much time as I possibly can with my little sister.

The Day He Died

I remember the day as if it were yesterday. March 14, 2015. My mom was was coming to pick me up from my dads house. I knew something was up because she was taking longer then usual , although I didn't mind it. When she arrived she honked the horn like always. I ran downstairs, excited to show her what I had bought for her at the mall the day before. When I got into the car I waved bye to my dad. We weren't even a block away. She quickly stopped and parked the car. By then I had realized something was for sure wrong.

We were sitting in the car , in silence for exactly five minutes. I finally had the courage to ask what was wrong. Seconds later, tears falling from her eyes like how rain had fallen from Hurricane Sandy. Under her breath I could hear her whisper "He passed. Your Tio Danny passed away." I stayed still in shock. My first reaction was laughter. I started insisting my mom was joking. Sadly , she wasn't. As I arrived to my small apartment , I had about five-seven of my Tias/Aunts tell me the exact same thing...

"It's okay Mija"
"He's in a better place."
"He will always be in your heart"

The thing was , I didn't want to hear that. I wanted them to tell me the truth. That he died and he's never coming back. That I will never be able to hear another "I love you Selly" from someone that I hadn't seen in years. Someone that I haven't been able to hear his voice in years.

One of the only three men I have ever looked up to, has passed away. I didn't have my dad around most of my life so I turned to my three Tios/Uncles. Rickey, Ernie, and Danny. Each of them had their own role that made them my 'dad'. Ricky would take me out and would always go the extra mile for me. Ernie would always support my decisions and pushed me physically and emotionally. Then, Danny. He was there to raise my head when it was down. He always knew how to put a smile on my face. He had gone through so much pain to where he didn't want me going down the same path. He kept my head straight and protected me as his own daughter. I will forever be grateful for that.

This experience has changed me and who I am because I've learned to be more grateful about everyday I wake up and make another 24 hours. Things can happen out of nowhere and this experience has shown me this. Another reason why this has changed me was because it made me go down a bad path. Yes I was very young at the time but, I still did things that I very much regret. That is another thing that makes Giselle, Giselle.